The Puppy Barks
I AM A DOG. You call me BITCH. I consider this an honorable title. Try to train me, this feral dog will ignore your commands. I've still got my intelligent instincts and I see you puds are the enemy of freedom. I won't follow orders just to be thrown your stinking table scraps. If you come at me with a stick I'll be glad to take a pound of your flesh away in my dirty teeth. You think of me as an animal, say I have no soul because I don't have/don't want a weenie (weenies are YOUR obsession and anxiety, NOT mine). You think I should have no rights (no ERA, only recently allowed to vote for one dick-head or another). You believe that we are lower on the food chain (fed last and least throughout pudriachy.) The bones I'll gnaw might just be your femurs. I can smell your fear. I listen to you building your expensive coffins, your high-tech killing machines. I keep close to the ground. I don't drive, I don't high-rise, I don't cellphone, I don't erect the rectangulars. This little mutt, a wonderous mix, eludes all pedigrees and prizes. I belong in the woods, but I've taken to the streets. I still seranade the moon while I dumpster-dive and scrounge about. It's no use bringing me into a restaurant. Pull the ticks off my back if you've something to prove. If I ever trust you I'll be loyal to a fault. I once had a Lady. She put me out on the highway. I must have a difficult pet. I loved her so. Late some nights you can hear me howl.
I can lick your face, I can bite it too.
My teeth got rabies, I'm gonna give it to you.
Feed me, feed me, can't you hear me howl?
Feed me! I'm a DAMN DOG now!
Damn dog me!
"Damn Dog" by Billy Mernit and Jacob Brackman
as howled by Robin Johnson in the movie "Times Square."
puppy eyes puppy eyes tearing claws spitting pride
roll over! roll over! roll over! roll over!
pretty please pretty play chase away chase away
nasty nasty snapping nasty biting spitting nasty nasty
hammer hammer teeth nails sit sit sit sit
bitch won't beg bitch can't lick
bitch can't do those clever tricks
heel fetch run lie nasty nasty snapping nasty
see these eyes puppy eyes roll on over and die die
bad dog you bad dog you bad dog you bad dog
playful dog with trouble and spice nasty nice nasty nice
slip the lead fight fight my bark is softer than my bite
roll over roll over mock each chewing spewing mouthful
hammer hammer teeth nails bad dog bad dog
good girl pat pat dog smack smack
here's a bitch who'll give it back snap snap snap snap
puppy eyes will start to play this nasty dog will have it's day
this is heaven - this is hell - this is living - this is tale to tell
this is drive wheel - this is cog
this is master - this is snarling dog
this is hammer - this is spanner
this is no sir - this is table manners
this is history
this is how it's been
this is over and over and over again
"Bad Dog" by Chumbawamba, as barked by Alice Nutter.
Now we're gonna be face to face
and I lay right down in my favorite place
(yeah, you know where THAT is)
Now I wanna be your dog!
well, come on!
I'll be your dog!
-As growled by Joan Jett: "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
by J. Osterber, Jr., D. Alexander, R. Asheton, S. Asheton
Can you hear that?
It's the sound of the mad dog
He's stomping down the street
with the help of his crew . . .
They are a Credit To The Nation! Give it up for the "Mad Dog!"
To the MAP!
Back to the Dog House!
This page dedicated to the memory of Dog.