The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
Sanity
Cut a little harder
You haven't felt enough pain
Carve a little deeper
You're really not insane
Pants in the Summer
Why do you wear pants in
the summer?
I'm often asked.
Easy
To hide the scars.
But do I tell you that? Of course not
I'd risk another friendship
That's the last thing I need.
To lose another who might care
to my insanity.
Each time I cut harder
and deeper
Hoping to bleed
for bleeding would allow me
to imagin I'm somewhat
human,
Pretty soon it's gonna be
long sleeves and pants all
year round.
Maybe I should get
a healthier habit
like drinking my sorrows away
but it's never fun to drink alone.
And I can't share my secret
of pants in the summertime
that would be too risky and
thats the last thing i need.
Protection
I cry out in despair
you come running,
arms open, ready
to protect me from
the world.
if only you knew
that it's myself
I need protection from.
Scars of a Lifetime
These scars I wear
are courage medals
of battles long past
Each scar has a story
and how i wish i
could say the
pain is only
skin deep.
These medals
are scars of a
lifetime. My
own little
memory book
right on my skin.
To tell you, I'd
have to surrender
and I'm not
quite ready for
that and
until that day
comes, I'll
continue adding
to my collection
of memories.
These memories
like a children's
fairy tale gone
incredibly gruesome
are all part of
my emotional
makeup.
Without them
Who would I be?
But with them
I have scars
I am strong
For these memories-
are scars of a lifetime.
Ramblings
As I continually pull the razor across my skin the blood begins to trickle
out and slowly seep down my leg. I don't bother to bandage it or wipe it for
that matter. This time the blood doesnt calm me or excite me this time it
seems to enable me to cry. Somehow my emotions ended up showing anyway-not
what usually happens. I haven't cried in a while-maybe it was what I needed.
I rolled my pant leg down and proceeded on my merry way as if nothing had
happened. The blood eventually dried on my skin leaving stains on my jeans.
All night I felt those cuts and whenever no one was looking I stole a glance
at the blood dried to my leg. I didn't bother wiping it off. Somehow I
liekd it better that way. bleeding always makes cutting seem more
worthwhile. it makes me feel more alive and I can't explain why. i don't
even think I know. Theres just a feeling of accomplishment when I bleed.
I'm tired perhaps I'll sleep tonight. It would be a first in a while.
Dreams- my only sweet escape and I can't get to sleep-that's torture.
~PryncessCrys
i welcome the contributions of others who self-harm or have done so in the past. Send us your writing, or arrange to send us your art or music by e-mailing RAZOR at zanne@cea.edu
|
Check out SCAR, a zine
on the subject of scars and self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
|
to CUTTERS, a page on the
subject of people who self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
|
to The History of Child Abuse |
|
Contents Under
Pressure Razor's writing about experiences she had during a 13 year
bout with DSH and five times she was institutionalized. |
|
to Leap Frogge Leap was locked up in mental institutions when she was a kid. Leap refers to them as "the Institutes." |