razorbladebloodstainedmirror

enchanted mirror -
you show me what i want to see
what i need to be
- i find you in razorblades and kitchen knives

i don't know why i bleed for you
why i bleed for me
why i bleed to see
some faint and fadin' signs of life

and i don't know why i'm back again
couldn't tell you why i don't stop
or if i'm at the bottom or the top;
if i'm getting worse or better

i can't honestly tell you anything:
if i really want to improve
or if i'd rather lose
and if i think it's worth it.

yeah, you- i'll never tell you.
there's certain things you'll never know
you know my face but not my soul
and see my scars but not my pain.

but then again-
you're my own reflection
my very own spiritual infection
and as i stain you with my blood you know.

i snap out

and here i lie
bleeding again
after i said i was fine
that i was feeling no pain

a eerie light
bathes in the room
it's the luminous energy
that exudes from my wound

i snap out
and see blood on the wall;
too much of it mine,
i weaken and fall

the energy
that first permeated
and filled all with benevolence
soon saturated.

my cries for no more
were drowned by it
and i wasn't even waken
by the sound as my body hit.

i snap out
and wake up in a bed not my own.
but had i dreamt it all
and why was i not home?

i find my body tied down
still i know my cuts are there
and though i writhe
my wrist is forever bare.

and so as i lie on the couch
telling my life story
telling my delusions
in all their faded glory,

i snap out
and pick up the blade
and cut through old scars-
through the lies i've made.

         ~ Ashton

Work of Art Poem by the mother of a young cutter.

Letter from a Cutter One cutter has bravely penned a letter of goodbye to cutting.

Letter from Dylan A cutter's letter to other cutters.

Chinese Medicine and Self Harm A potential direction for healing and recovery.

Poem by a Cutter

The Cut by Shawna

Jen Eraser Cutlet by Jennie

Poem by a Cutter named Lissa

Pixie Cutter and My Road Happiness by Mary

Ouch and World War 3 by Anna

A Girl and Her Knife by Lucy

Poem by a 15 year old Cutter named Janette

Painless Pain

Nothing Left and Guilt by Helle Marie, born 1984

Poem by a Cutter

Silver Blade by Shawna

The Razor

Two poems by KeyserSzze

Four poems by ~Exacta

Self Mutilation and Surrender

Cuts by Angel

Broken Child by Kathy B.

Hidden by Kim

Cutters: An essay about cutting by Cutting Blade.

Ritual by the weeping wanderer.

Poems by Kitty.

Scars by Amanda.

Savage gift by Dylan.

KBD's World by Kayla.

Three Poems by Sara.

Where to Turn by the Gentle Giant

Two Poems by Kara

Shaggy Red Carpet by Megan, age 15.

Fallen by Mey

untitled poem by Ashton

Razors Edge by A.M.

scratches and poetry by The Phoenix Princessa

Sweet Release by Patti

Choices by Kayla

Pain by Adrian

two poems by Erica

Walled In by Anonymous

"Do you" by Sarah, age 15

poem by anonymous

Confetti by Aileen

razorbladebloodstainedmirror and i snap out by Ashton

Three Poems by Jarod

Five Poems by Pryncess Crys

I welcome the contributions of others who self-harm or have done so in the past. Send us your writing, or arrange to send us your art or music by e-mailing RAZOR at zanne@cea.edu

	Check out SCAR, a zine on the subject of scars and self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
	to CUTTERS, a page on the subject of people who self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
	to The History of Child Abuse
	Contents Under Pressure Razor's writing about experiences she had during a 13 year bout with DSH and five times she was institutionalized.
	to Leap Frogge Leap was locked up in mental institutions when she was a kid. Leap refers to them as "the Institutes."