The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
Broken Child
A little girl-so sweet & shy
a trusted uncle made her cry
from ages 6 to 12 years old
"it's our secret" he said - she never told
growing up feeling empty & lost
did he know how much it would cost?
No! he didn't care about the child standing there
dealing with self-hatred - drowning in tears
he just cared about his sexual needs
now she stands here - needing to bleed
taking a razor - being precise
cutting her arm - slice after slice
feelings of anger & love betrayed
for yrs she kept quiet & always obeyed
until she could keep it no longer inside
Too much pain - she wanted to die
how could he do that to a child?
messing up her head - innocence defiled
its just too hard - day after day
so this is what I have to say
take a knife - cut it deep
drops of blood before I sleep
if I die before I wake
life was just too cruel to take
relief is felt & blood flows red
feeling alive - instead of dead
self-hatred, anger, guilt flow out
total satisfaction - without a doubt
fighting depression everyday
insecurities & fear along the way
low self-esteem, feelings of dispair
but nobody ever said life was fair
There's alot of us here - you see
abused, broken, wanting to be free
were afraid, scarred, needing care
looking for help - is anyone there?
Don't look at us in disgust
a non-judgemental attitude is a must
remember we're still lost children inside
running from the pain we try to hide
just reach out & be a friend
dont lie to us or try to pretend
give us comfort when we cry
so we dont give up & decide to die
scars tell a story of the pain inside
revealing our secrets we try to hide
showing the misery that alot of us share
hoping & praying someone will care
maybe if you look deep in my eyes
you'll see the child behind the cries
& the things that murdered her soul
& the self-hatred that's taking its toll
we numb our brains to stay alive
whatever we have to do to survive
we cut ourselves & burn our skin
to punish ourselves & get rid of sin
we're looked upon as freaks & outcasts
but were just trying to get rid of the past
to destroy the images & lies that were told
that left us broken, messed up & cold
if you really listen & try to understand
maybe I'll trust you & take your hand
just listen to me when I need your ears
give me your arms to hug away my fears
help me rip out the crazy thoughts inside
& try to find the part of me that died
help me to like myself again
stick with me & be a true friend.
By Kathy B.
I welcome the contributions of others who self-harm or have done so in the past. Send us your writing, or arrange to send us your art or music by e-mailing RAZOR at zanne@cea.edu
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Check out SCAR, a zine on the
subject of scars and self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
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to CUTTERS, a
page on the subject of people who self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
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to The History of Child Abuse |
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Contents Under
Pressure Razor's writing about experiences she had during a 13 year
bout with DSH and five times she was institutionalized. |
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to Leap Frogge Leap was locked up in mental institutions when she was a kid. Leap refers to them as "the Institutes." |