The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
-Perfect Daughter-
Why Mom....why?
Why must you make me cry?
I try to be the best for you
Yet you scream "Is that the best you can do!"
Try harder next time, maybe you will win my love.
I hang my head low as the tears roll down my face
Oh how I long for her love
Tomorrow I will try harder for her.
I know she loves me, she just wants me to be the best
When tomorrow comes I try harder for her
My mom tells me that I'm nobody just like the rest
So today I have found a new answer to my moms pleas
It's a shiny blade which rips my skin nicely and brings me to my knees.
-Feel-
I Feel your soul around me
Yet in the physical world you no longer be
I wish I still had you here to dry my tears
I thought I would never have to fill this fear
I wake up, sweat beading on my face
It's him again, he left me without a trace
As the sunrises I feel somewhat at peace
I fell to the blade again last night
I don't want to die, just get rid of the stress and horrible frights
The blade, the blade I hold it strongly in my hand
Strong? Me, ha......the only thing I have control over is slicing my skin
A waner through the day
the blade guiding my way
As night falls within
A fall to the blade again.
-Call him Blade-
I went to him today
He sets my soul at ease
He's very easy to find and please
I give him what he wants
I'm rid of all my taunts
I remember the day I fell to him
At the time he seemed harmless
He's very sharp and rusted on the edges
It's not his fault for what I do
I go to him for my salvation
I pick him up, not in a car, not off the streets, not in a bar
He fits in my palm and as the red thickens
He sits on the edge of the sink laughing at me
He's not human, but I feel as if he should be.
-If Only It Where A Dream-
I had a dream last night
It was comfortable, but at the same time a terrible fright
I saw the blade coming closer to my skin
I had to release feeling from within.
As the crimson poured
My soul soared
All my troubles slowly dripped away with a few quick swipes
The dream felt so real as I awoke
Then I remembered it wasn't a dream
If only I could stop this vicious cycle
But I'm afraid to let go of my only release
I don't want to die just be at peace
As another night falls the dream comes to me
I fall to the razor agian, If only it where a dream
I welcome the contributions of others who self-harm or have done so in the past. Send us your writing, or arrange to send us your art or music by e-mailing RAZOR at zanne@cea.edu
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Check out SCAR, a zine on the
subject of scars and self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
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to CUTTERS, a
page on the subject of people who self-harm. The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material. |
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to The History of Child Abuse |
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Contents Under
Pressure Razor's writing about experiences she had during a 13 year
bout with DSH and five times she was institutionalized. |
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to Leap Frogge Leap was locked up in mental institutions when she was a kid. Leap refers to them as "the Institutes." |