Letter to Cutting from a Cutter
 

Dear Cutting,

You helped me tremendously over the past two years. In the beginning, the very first time, I used you for attention. As much as I don't like to admit it, thats what I did. It was negative attention and I found that I was uncomfortable by that attention. I felt like I deserved your darkness, cutting. And when I was angry, I used you to calm down and I felt that it was the only real way to express the terrible rage I felt toward my parents, my mom's boyfriends, and most of all myself. I cut when I was sad and broken, which was behind my anger. And it got to the point where I cut when I was content. I've never been happy. You became my addiction after two of three months. Cutting made me feel strong and in control. I couldn't make my dad stop drinking, I couldn't make my mom stop throwing up or admit what she did in C_______, I couldn't change the past. I never could and never will. But I did cut. I cut a lot. I had my own ritual and every time I followed my ritual I felt stronger at first, then ashamed. So incredibly ashamed. When I tried to cry, no tears came. So I cried bloody tears. It made me feel crazy and to this day I understand most of the reasons but not all of them. I won't forget the sad, disgusted, angry looks of hospital staff, parents, and therapists. I haven't used you in a long time, but I never thought of writing you a letter. Now I am saying goodbye, cutting. Goodbye to the security, the false control, the shame...and thank you for keeping me alive at my most difficult times.
  Sincerely, J. S.
Work of Art
Poem by the mother of a young cutter.
Letter from a Cutter
One cutter has bravely penned a letter of goodbye to cutting.
Letter from Dylan
A cutter's letter to other cutters.
Chinese Medicine and Self Harm
A potential direction for healing and recovery.
Poem by a Cutter
The Cut by Shawna
Jen Eraser Cutlet by Jennie
Poem by a Cutter named Lissa
Pixie Cutter and My Road Happiness by Mary
Ouch and World War 3 by Anna
A Girl and Her Knife by Lucy
Poem by a 15 year old Cutter named Janette
Painless Pain
Nothing Left and Guilt by Helle Marie, born 1984
Poem by a Cutter
Silver Blade by Shawna
The Razor
Two poems by KeyserSzze
Four poems by ~Exacta
Self Mutilation and Surrender
Cuts by Angel
Broken Child by Kathy B.
Hidden by Kim
Cutters: An essay about cutting by Cutting Blade.
Ritual by the weeping wanderer.
Poems by Kitty.
Scars by Amanda.
Savage gift by Dylan.
KBD's World by Kayla.
Three Poems by Sara.
Where to Turn by the Gentle Giant
Two Poems by Kara
Shaggy Red Carpet by Megan, age 15.
Fallen by Mey
untitled poem by Ashton
Razors Edge by A.M.
scratches and poetry by The Phoenix Princessa
Sweet Release by Patti
Choices by Kayla
Pain by Adrian
two poems by Erica
Walled In by Anonymous
"Do you" by Sarah, age 15
poem by anonymous
Confetti by Aileen
razorbladebloodstainedmirror and i snap out by Ashton
Three Poems by Jarod
Five Poems by Pryncess Crys
Thank you, J.S. for your contribution. I hope this will serve as an inspiration to others struggling to end their own self-harm. A letter seems like an excellent tool for coming to a greater understanding of what the cutting might be about, and a way to draw a strong line indication the intention to heal without relying any further on self-harm.

I welcome the contributions of others who self-harm or have done so in the past.

Check out SCAR, a zine on the subject of scars and self-harm.
The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
to CUTTERS, a page on the subject of people who self-harm.
The content of these pages may contain "triggering" material.
to The History of Child Abuse
Contents Under Pressure Razor's writing about experiences she had during a 13 year bout with DSH and five times she was institutionalized.
to Leap Frogge Leap was locked up in mental institutions when she was a kid. Leap refers to them as "the Institutes."
We encourage you to contribute to this page. Send us your writing, or arrange to send us your art or music by e-mailing ZANNE or RAZOR at zanne@cea.edu